In 2009 I first experienced kundalini and some of her manifestations. She assisted in a profound shift in consciousness - awakening to the divine sense of oneness - unity consciousness. She started to make her way up my body with at first mild force - swiveling my body in a circular motion.
Mystical visions, past life experiences and communing - working with the subtle realm. Much healing was carried out by the subtle realm in subtle surgeries - assisting in trauma recovery - healing the vessel, lightening the load.
This evolutionary process was for me exhilarating, de-stabilising, un-ravelling ego construction and healing. I had trust in the process and although at times it was intense, physically painful and unusual I intuitively opened to it.
For many the gross world is the extent of their reality and there is no understanding of the possibility of communion with spirit and the subtle realms.- it could therefore be misconstrued as mental illness. I knew and trusted that it was a part of our human involutionary process.
After much healing via nature, spirit and extensive use of the TRE® process,
I experienced a profound shift of consciousness whilst watching Mooji on the net.
The person fell away and I experienced myself as pure consciousness for a nine month period. There was no thought, pure consciousness reigned supreme and there was bliss, joy and a great sense of vastness. I was however not very functional at this stage, I sat looking in bliss at the concrete floor of my house as pure consciousness with no relationship to my human life.
After the dry perfection of transcendence I one night experienced being everything in the universe the stones, the trees, the mountains, the oceans, the rivers, the animals and then the humans and all their projections, desires and suffering. I experienced the violence and suffering of peoples actions against one another in their dualistic consciousness. It was both beautiful and horrific and its embodied impact was such that it awoke my human nature and I realised that I was both that and this. I was that living through this, I remembered that I had a name, a body, a family, an occupation. Consciousness was now embodied. Thought also returned but it was minimal and of a more useful nature, no longer psychological suffering- projection or regurgitation. Life consisted of naturally doing what was in front of me, a more intuitive existence.- no longer driven by an ego identity, fear was gone - more like a clearer vessel being driven by the divine impulse of life.
Alcohol and sex had both left the building. I had previously enjoyed a hearty appetite for both and yet post awakening the sense of wholeness was so complete that there was no longer any desire for either sex or alcohol - they no longer existed as part of my lived experience. Joy and inner peace reigned supreme.
In 2016 whilst approaching the entrance of an ashram my legs began to give out, my whole body began to shake and convulse, my head was thrown back in violent spasms. I was carried to a seat, where they asked me my name, I didn't have one.
"I dont know", I said.
I was left in peace for Kundalini Shakti to do her thing. I felt a groundswell of energy rising through my feet and travelling up my legs with the accompanying sound of a deafening steam train as my body, shook, and vibrated, flicked and spasmed like a rag doll under the great force. The flow continued up my spine and traveled full speed through the crown of my head. There was total overwhelm and bright white light coursed through my head. I experienced a super expanded consciousness.
I was kindly driven to a temple to lie down and for the whole day my body tremored and flicked and unwound.
After I felt cleaned out, clear - more freedom. I crawled until I could walk, I ate a bowl of soup and felt divine and clear.
For the next five years this energy would arise spasmodically, clearing and refining further. I would go into spontaneous mudras, strange verbal utterances and my body would form into sacred dance gestures. I have had a lot of pressure around the heart at certain times and arrhythmia. I have been to emergency department in the night once as I thought I was having a heart attack only to find my heart was fine. Sometimes in the middle of the night my body would go into strange, extreme breathing patterns and would run out under the starry night where it would flick and form spontaneous yoga poses as my consciousness extended through the galaxies. I would have visions of goddesses and dakinis dancing in my body. There was a lot of heat and very little sleep and yet I was not tired, I was energised and shiny - light.
At an ashram another time I experienced two separate episodes of intense breathing and an influx of strong divine energy from outside into my body, it felt as though my body would burst it was seemingly too much to contain. I gasped air in an attempt to allow the energy into my body. Again this went on for hours.
This Kundalini Awakening was a pretty wild ride and yet I surrendered to it all. I trusted this evolutionary/involutionary process. There was no way to predict it or stop it so I completely surrendered in the understanding that it is the light/ god/ consciousness flooding my body.
Now the energy has subsided to a vibrant hum, an effervescent flow of life force.
Kundalini Shakti - purifying - leading to spiritual liberation.
If i have anything to share about Kundalini - I would say don't fight her, allow her to consume what she wants. Surrender, surrender, surrender.
