The healing Journey is a heroic journey back to our authentic SELF.
It is called a journey as it will not happen in one or two sessions.
I often hear, "I've got a block that needs removing", as if it will occur in one session and the person will magically become present and grounded, all resolved.
This was not the case for me.
Healing the body, the emotional body, the psyche and the nervous system will not happen in one session
The body has contracted with every wounding, the nervous system has been dis-regulated over a lifetime. Healing back to wholeness takes time, courage, commitment and the support of a variety of healing modalities.
It is an arduous journey as we face our disconnection with our bodies, our self and the present moment.
There is a place within us that is timeless, untouched and whole - it is beneficial to be able to sense into this beingness part of ourselves. From here we have the largess to work on our wounded parts, our contraction, our dissociation, our collapse states, our zealous and fretful thinking and most importantly our nervous system.
My understanding is that you have to feel safe with your practitioner. Sometimes your nervous system is too disregulated to dwell in your grounded sense of wholeness and so you will need a practitioner that is grounded and present. Your system can co-regulate off their system and you can begin to feel into a sense of safety. Co-regulation is helpful until you can self-regulate.
I say to my clients when you go to someone for healing work - check in with your self, do you feel safe and supported. Is their energy grounded, calming - are they present. Your organism will respond - you will know.
Is this modality helping me? Is it suitable to me for this part on my healing journey?
My first practitioner was nature, the elements, the ocean, the river, the earth, the sky, sun, wind, rain and the trees. Here I felt safe and nature reflected back to me my own grounded sense of being. Here I was held -supported - I could breath and open. It is great to start to feel into what works for your nervous system. For some being alone in nature would be an unpleasant sensation. We all have different responses - there is no one measure - there is no right or wrong - there is just noticing.
I then took to a long time in solitude and silence and worked with spirit world on emotional wounding imprints. This work was difficult, painful, confronting and raw and yet here I was being supported - this time by the subtle realm.
Again huge shifts occurred over a three year period. Without this emotional baggage bands of restriction were lifted and I began to experience a sense of oneness.
I felt ready to work with people and the body and I bought my self ten weekly massage sessions.
As trauma specialist Bessel Van der Kolk - states - "The body keeps the score."
The body carries our history - it is shaped and formed by our experience.
When we touch the contracted muscle and move the fascia things begin to shift, frozen parts of ourselves move - we come to life. Our nervous system can shift out of continuous activation. We can experience what the rest and digest state of being feels like. These sessions for me were nourishing and my organism experienced a sense of safety and support. I got off the table after many sessions and found myself in a state of rest and digest - this was new to me and a startling revelation. This did not last but it gave me a taste of what I desired.
We can learn about our nervous system states and begin to nourish ourselves. If you enjoy touch bodywork can be profound.
Why do we take the heroes journey of healing?
Usually a sense of discomfort, physical pain is often an indicator - a calling card. Anxiety, depression, a knowing feeling that "this", isn't quite right. I am not well within myself. There must be another way to be in the world.
In 2014 I discovered TRE® - Trauma, Tension release exercises devised by David Berceli.
TRE® enables us to invoke and regulate our mammalian ability to shake out trauma, tension and stress held in our systems. We are wired as mammals to be able to release trauma, heal and flourish - this is known as post traumatic growth.
After one session I was relieved of chronic jaw pain and after three years of ongoing practice my life was thoroughly transformed. The relief from chronic pain was wonderful and even more life changing was the shift in my nervous system.
I came out of continual activation of the fight, flight, fawn, freeze loop I was stuck in.
My system which was once full of anxiety - fight and flight energy - became relaxed and grounded. My cortex the rational thinking part of my brain came online, my body relaxed and I was no longer stuck in my thinking mind, regurgitating over the past or frantically thinking into the future - I am merely here as present moment awareness. This is a huge shift in states of consciousness and a lovely way to "be" in the world.
I still practice TRE® every week as a maintenance practice to be with my body - to explore and express - to enjoy the embodied experience.
The latest modality that I have delved into is Transformational Body work Devised by Deva Daricha. Transformational Bodywork is an evolutionary approach to whole being transformation.
It is a unique synthesis of several modalities including Ida Rolf's work (Rolfing) and in particular Postural Integration - the work of Jack Painter.
Past trauma is held in the tissue of the body and can cause contraction, tightness, body pains and inhibited breathing patterns.
Since being worked on with this modality I notice my body has changed shape, my chest has opened, I feel straighter, stronger and my body has lengthened and shed some weight. My body feels more balanced and alive.
During sessions I have seen past events and felt emotions leave my body. On the table with the practitioner I have been able to enact out thwarted fight, flight responses making for a completion in my system - bringing me further back to life.
I have experienced different states of consciousness - many and varied multi dimensional experiences which assist in expanding one's awareness. The flesh is a gateway into all of consciousness.
This work is deep, profound and multi-dimensional. Always after my body feels well and more freedom and expansion is experienced. I feel aligned as life itself with no constraints.
My healing journey began in 2009 and is a continuous bounty of transformation. Life that was once a dread is now a joy. The journey has been long, tough and ultimately transformative. Life lived from a regulated nervous system is an embodied experience of presence and life - silent, free and flowing.
Funnily enough coming back home to a deep remembering.
I found the modalities that I used in my own healing journey so life changing that I studied them so as to share with others that have the impulse to heal.
There are many different modalities and practitioners to see what suits you.
Again you will notice what modality and practitioner resonates for you at a particular time.
This is the work we do to create peace within our own organism.
I also support my system by floating in rivers and splashing in the ocean, by remembering to breath, by sitting on the soil, solitude and silence, meditating and singing mantras.
As we shed the contractions and stories we experience more of our true nature
At one part of us - our eternal nature we are whole, perfect - just here and paradoxically we are a work in progress ever releasing into that perfect mystery.