Updated: Jul 21

In 2009 I first experienced kundalini and some of her manifestations. She assisted in a profound shift in consciousness - awakening to the divine sense of oneness - unity consciousness. She started to make her way up my body with at first mild force - swiveling my body in a circular motion.

Mystical visions, past life experiences and communing - working with the subtle realm. Much healing was carried out by the subtle realm in subtle surgeries - assisting in trauma recovery - healing the vessel, lightening the load.

This evolutionary process was for me exhilarating, de-stabilising, un-ravelling ego construction and healing. I had trust in the process and although at times it was intense, physically painful and unusual I intuitively opened to it.

For many the gross world is the extent of their reality and there is no understanding of the possibility of communion with spirit and the subtle realms.- it could therefore be misconstrued as mental illness. I knew and trusted that it was a part of our human involutionary process.

After much healing via nature, spirit and extensive use of the TRE® process,

I experienced a profound shift of consciousness whilst watching Mooji on the net.

The person fell away and I experienced myself as pure consciousness for a nine month period. There was no thought, pure consciousness reigned supreme and there was bliss, joy and a great sense of vastness. I was however not very functional at this stage, I sat looking in bliss at the concrete floor of my house as pure consciousness with no relationship to my human life.

After the dry perfection of transcendence I one night experienced being everything in the universe the stones, the trees, the mountains, the oceans, the rivers, the animals and then the humans and all their projections, desires and suffering. I experienced the violence and suffering of peoples actions against one another in their dualistic consciousness. It was both beautiful and horrific and its embodied impact was such that it awoke my human nature and I realised that I was both that and this. I was that living through this, I remembered that I had a name, a body, a family, an occupation. Consciousness was now embodied. Thought also returned but it was minimal and of a more useful nature, no longer psychological suffering- projection or regurgitation. Life consisted of naturally doing what was in front of me, a more intuitive existence.- no longer driven by an ego identity, fear was gone - more like a clearer vessel being driven by the divine impulse of life.

Alcohol and sex had both left the building. I had previously enjoyed a hearty appetite for both and yet post awakening the sense of wholeness was so complete that there was no longer any desire for either sex or alcohol - they no longer existed as part of my lived experience. Joy and inner peace reigned supreme.

In 2016 whilst approaching the entrance of an ashram my legs began to give out, my whole body began to shake and convulse, my head was thrown back in violent spasms. I was carried to a seat, where they asked me my name, I didn't have one.

"I dont know", I said.

I was left in peace for Kundalini Shakti to do her thing. I felt a groundswell of energy rising through my feet and travelling up my legs with the accompanying sound of a deafening steam train as my body, shook, and vibrated, flicked and spasmed like a rag doll under the great force. The flow continued up my spine and traveled full speed through the crown of my head. There was total overwhelm and bright white light coursed through my head. I experienced a super expanded consciousness.

I was kindly driven to a temple to lie down and for the whole day my body tremored and flicked and unwound.

After I felt cleaned out, clear - more freedom. I crawled until I could walk, I ate a bowl of soup and felt divine and clear.

For the next five years this energy would arise spasmodically, clearing and refining further. I would go into spontaneous mudras, strange verbal utterances and my body would form into sacred dance gestures. I have had a lot of pressure around the heart at certain times and arrhythmia. I have been to emergency department in the night once as I thought I was having a heart attack only to find my heart was fine. Sometimes in the middle of the night my body would go into strange, extreme breathing patterns and would run out under the starry night where it would flick and form spontaneous yoga poses as my consciousness extended through the galaxies. I would have visions of goddesses and dakinis dancing in my body. There was a lot of heat and very little sleep and yet I was not tired, I was energised and shiny - light.

At an ashram another time I experienced two separate episodes of intense breathing and an influx of strong divine energy from outside into my body, it felt as though my body would burst it was seemingly too much to contain. I gasped air in an attempt to allow the energy into my body. Again this went on for hours.

This Kundalini Awakening was a pretty wild ride and yet I surrendered to it all. I trusted this evolutionary/involutionary process. There was no way to predict it or stop it so I completely surrendered in the understanding that it is the light/ god/ consciousness flooding my body.

Now the energy has subsided to a vibrant hum, an effervescent flow of life force.

Kundalini Shakti - purifying - leading to spiritual liberation.

If i have anything to share about Kundalini - I would say don't fight her, allow her to consume what she wants. Surrender, surrender, surrender.

Updated: Apr 8, 2020

Trauma - the response to a deeply distressing or disturbing event that overwhelms an individual's ability to cope, causes feelings of helplessness, diminishes sense of safety and the ability to feel a full range of emotions and experiences. It may cause a sense of hopelessness and shutdown. It can cause anxiety, anger, irritability and depression.

When we incarnate in a human body it seems inevitable that we experience trauma. So trauma is varied in range from severe trauma to softer trauma. Regardless of degree it has a debilitating impact on the expression of our life.

'Hard' trauma is generally understood. Lesser known or acknowledged as trauma is; any time our body contracts - it could be stress at work, stress at home, arguments with partner, financial concerns - we even contract from our own negative thought forms. There are thousands of examples of overwhelm on our systems.

When we are living out of past, habitual nervous system responses - fight, flight, freeze we are missing out on the joy of present moment awareness. Our true nature - one of joy, peace and SELF -satisfaction is blighted by our dis-regulated nervous systems.

By no choice of our own we are hijacked by a nervous system in continual activation - this impedes our freedom as life.

In my own past before resolving my trauma and balancing my nervous system, I was only comfortable in Nature or with animals. I was stuck in f/f/f combination and was missing out on a whole area of life - communion with other humans. I had no felt sense of safety in the body or on the planet.

My nervous system clocked people as a threat and my experience was one of continual activation. Feelings of anxiety, defensiveness, dissociation and hopelessness.

I thought this was life. I didn't know anything else other than this activated response to life.

If you observe society - locally and globally you will notice that most humans' nervous systems are highly charged. Inner peace and outer peace elude the majority of humans on the planet.

Are you at peace?

This time in history we have a chance for great change - for evolvement as a species. Current understanding of the nervous system is making its way through to the mainstream and we have a real chance to bring about a more highly evolved version of ourselves . We can extract ourselves from instinctual survival mode, from dissociated or depressed states of being. We can achieve inner peace - one organism at a time. Change can occur for the betterment of humanity. If we heal our individual and collective trauma and balance our nervous systems we will be living in peace.

Our individual and collective pasts have been subject to violence, hatred, fear, greed and anger -we have been living a hell on earth. This is such a magnificent planet and us at our source are truly resplendent.

Is our dis-regulated nervous system responsible for our contracted, sub-standard form of humanity we are expressing at the moment?

Imagine living in a society where we are responsive not reactive, where kindness and true compassion are a natural expression of who we are. Where we don't need love but experience ourselves as love itself.

Nervous system health is imperative if we are to gain inner and outer peace.

Nervous system regulation could herald in the much anticipated aquarian age.

One of mass awakening, co -operation, compassionate care for our SELF in the form of all sentient beings - including the planet herself.

Now is the time you can address your nervous system and bring it into peace and balance. Healing a dis-regulated nervous system and maintaining it's balance is one of the most pro-active, positive actions you can contribute to the planet at the moment. I feel our survival - our awakening and flourishing will be precipitated by this work.

Warmest regards


Updated: Apr 8, 2020

Spiritual awakening is when our true nature - the vastness and silence - the lived experience of the question - Who am I? - surfaces as us.

There is a changing of the guard and a spring of wellness - vastness -emptiness that is also a rich and all pervading fullness emerges.

Where there was once a fearful, constricted, suffering, separate individual there is now a great experience of oneness and love a vastness and beauty beyond description.

It can be a gradual process or an abrupt startling realisation or a combination.

Yet when I look back at this life there have been many times I have been that.

When one loses oneself in the majesty of nature or in making something, playing music, dancing or..................................................

It is not apart from us - it is us. We have all experienced this - we however give much more credit and credence to our personhood - our limited form of existence.

Personhood or limited ego identity springs back readily into place.

The physical body contracts, shoulders and jaw tighten and there we are a triggered, fearful, driven person protecting our sense of self.

When this bizarre, desperate and contracted caricature falls away there is such a sense of relief, hilarity and joy.

It is Grace that descends and shines her light through the vessel and consciousness. I feel the seeker - seeking for what always is - just here - can contribute to the remembering of their true self by removing a lot of noise of the person.

The person's noise in the form of protecting, pushing, manipulating, defending, rushing, avoiding, or exhausted, beaten, hopeless. Human consciousness in its most contracted form.

The progress of our spiritual awakening is vastly compromised by a nervous system stuck on a loop of fight/ flight/ freeze combinations. Our life is hijacked. Our evolution and involution is thwarted.

Beingness - always here waiting for the seeker to surrender to it.

Trauma, tension and stress release is a path to awakening. It is a worthwhile pursuit for pre-awakening to clear and lighten so the beingness can be remembered and allowed. to excel. During awakening to assist the process and to nurture an abiding awakening and post-awakening to deal with the clean up on the full circle back to humanity after transcendence.

There are many fruitful modalities to work with. TRE®, Shamanic Healing, SE Psychotherapy, Cranio Sacral, Massage - the list goes on. The healing journey is a path to awakening. Have you noticed how noisy some people can be even when they are keeping silence, the noise exuding off their person is cumbersome on the environment and those around them.

Some masters say, "Be Quiet". This task is made easier when the nervous system is in balance.- the mind automatically calms- we naturally arrive at a state of inner peace.

Trauma healing and healing the nervous system brings us to a calm, presence - the doorway to the absolute.

When we know we are something profound, limitless and universal it is much lighter to work on our humanity.

Lighter, still imperative.

Awakening is an ongoing journey, a human/divine journey.

My own journey has included much trauma and tension release and continues and is ongoing. What a blessed life to have this human incarnation to experience our divinity and our humaness - our divinity through our humanity.